Thirty Minutes with Mom

Today marks a new chapter of my Being My Mother's Caretaker journey. My mom totally forgot the last 74 years of her life, during which she married my dad and had six children with him. For thirty minutes, she maintained she was single her entire life and never bore children. It seemed she had reversed her short-term and long-term memories due to dementia. She forgot the long life she led, and yet stubbornly "remembered" (wrongly) that she had taken her medication and refused to take it "again."

This morning when I sat with my mom
She did not comprehend
I was flesh and blood
I was surely mistaken
Because she was never married
Therefore she never gave birth
I showed her the pictures
Of her and my dad
When they were just married
When they had their first child
And when they were grandparents
She looked at the man
Smiling at her side
To her he was a stranger
Or perhaps he was someone
Who once had wooed her
Or perhaps he was a family friend
Who wanted only to pose with her
Or perhaps he was a tutor
Hired to teach at home by her parents
She recounted her youth
Living in the Village of Ninh Tảo
Her parents had wanted her
To walk down the aisle
With someone she abhored
She bolted and wandered about
Until recently
When she arrived at my door
I was kind to let her stay
For she was from the same native land
Even though I didn’t know her
She asserted that I was wrong
She is not related to me by blood
My last name is Từ and not Lê
She is not an idiot
Or someone who’s crazy
And definilty not one to tell lies
But she felt honored
That I want to call her Mom
I patiently recited
The names of her children
Thuần Khiết Trân Mai Hiệp Tùng
She said those are the children
Of my brother Lê Giáp Đệ
Your imagination and illusions
Are just too funny
I would like to repeat
I have no husband much less children
She laughs heartily
And sneers at my joke
Like a knife cutting through my heart
Looking at the picture of my dad on the altar
Did not bring her the memories
Of mourning his death
She questioned me
Of the names of her parents
Of the name of her brother
Of the place where she was born
She was surprised
That I had the answers
Thirty minutes passed by
She gradually remembered some facts
She figured I was right
She felt bad that she did not know
I was her daughter
All those years we’ve been living together
She was eager
To go visit her other children
I said we will go
I will purchase airplane tickets
For the two of us
Because I do not know
How many more
Thirty minutes I’ll have with you, Mom