A poem I must pen
A pantsuit is not in the plan
Life is not always fair
But no one really cares
That things went out of hand
What happened to the concept of Mom’s command?
But that’s alright
I’ll be a good sport
I’ll do the report
Now you need to pay attention
For the story must not be forgotten
How you’ve come to own and experience
The gifts that you’re about to receive
From the Christmas committees
Let us start with the youngest recipient
To begin our story
Julie doesn’t care for vanity
But she appreciates power and beauty
She has a weakness
For certain kitchen gadgets
She has been drooling after
Cookware and blenders and breadmakers
Oh my
We had no problem
Agreeing on a solution
To give her a Vitamix
That can turn a solid mass
Into squishy mushy mash
In a flash
May the Force be with you
As you train your little machine
Toward a righteous gourmet path
It was a bit harder to find
Something that would make Thal smile
We thought about adventures
Like rock climbing or camping in the woods
Or dog sledding on a snowy field
But at the end we figured
A happy dog makes a happy master
So to Thal we give a gift of dog lessons
May the bond of you and Bella
Grow stronger yet
As she’ll grow and learn
The arts of obedience
For a harmonious life
Bill is the nicest husband in Aiea
He vetoed things that did not fit Lien’s agenda
Like an Apple Siri or Amazon Alexa
We heard about Lien’s quest to be
The best ukulele player
In the family history
So we were happy to oblige
To give Lien a gift of something super nice
That is also practical and fine
We hope this gift of a recorder
Will multitrack the joyful sounds
Of your many ukulele sessions
So play away ‘Oli ‘Oli Ukestra Girl
Don’t you ever fear
Of not being able to share
Your wonderful journey
Of musical discovery
With flair
Bill is a self-sufficient guy
Easy going but maybe not easy to shop for
He buys what he needs
He often doesn’t want
What he doesn’t need
But lest you think he’s a simple man
Think again
For you’d sorely be mistaken
Based on our past experience
We thought Bill might
Enjoy an outing under the blue sky
The Maui Film Festival
Passed Lien’s approval
In no time
The festival ticket we get you
Is for a mid-June affair
May you experience the glory
Feeling like a celebrity
Leisurely sleeping in
Watching films after a fancy dinner
Being away from the humdrum labor
Of a city life
Lien says she knows Lan really well
So there should be no opposition
To a puzzle that would satisfy Lan
With uncountable hours of mesmerization
Lien vowed an endless fight
For the perfect gift that she thought was right
Single-handedly she managed
To wrestle the votes her way
And to convince those harboring doubts
That nothing else would account
To the bliss Lan would amount
When she realized the amazing puzzle
She had dearly wanted for her father
Will now be in her possession
For her to smugly display
On a wall of puzzle arrays
May the gift of five-thousand-piece Clemens Habicht Colour
Bring you endless hours of joy untold
For truly it is
So awesome and wild
For George it was a simple process
But his desires were only for Lan to guess
We agreed not to get him a Nintendo
For Lan feared it would already be in his portfolio
She didn’t want him to struggle
With a manual razor
That could nick his delicate skin
She confessed she’d love to snuggle
Against the smoothness of his face
She shared that he’d been
Coveting Bill’s electric blade
We were so moved that in unison
We voted to give him the same razor
Bill got one Christmas past
Lest he be envious in shame
May this electric gizmo
Take away your coarsest whiskers
And grant you the cleanest shaven face
When you look in the mirror
If you don’t forget to use your razor
Each day
Tom’s committee chair wanted to get him a puzzle
Not any puzzle per se
But the five-thousand-piece Clemens Habicht of colors
She was pushing to order it back in September
Alas she lost her only support for this proposal
When Bill suddenly announced
He was for it before he was against it
She had no choice but to consider other options
Fitbit and disk storage were among the gifts mentioned
Along with Northern Exposure, a show, and a carbonator
Tom was a lucky dude
To be remembered well for his birthday
He got a Fitbit in early October
Then later a whole set Northern Exposure
So the options narrowed down
To a gift of a SodaStream carbonator
You can now make fizzy water
To your heart desires
May the soda water that you crave
Give you endless supply
Of endless pleasure
Now we have come to the end of our story
About the seven Christmas committees
The gift for me stayed a mystery
When this poem was being composed by me
But I’m sure whatever it is
I will be so pleased
I’m so happy we are together
Though living apart from each other
Across large swatches of land and sea
Oceans and mountains can’t separate us
Christmas traditions we make and embrace
