I often associate the idea of Valentine with flowers and romance which I didn’t think apply to me at this stage of my life. I figure it invokes a bursting fire full of intensity and passion. My husband and I could be intense and passionate, but I do not think of us that way because we rarely act that way. We still care for each other a great deal, but we also annoy each other a great deal. On Valentine’s Day, I sent my husband a Valentine greeting while I was over 2,000 miles away and I never got a response. The day before Valentine’s Day, I told my travel companion to remind me to send my husband a Happy Valentine’s text message, she said “You didn’t get him anything?” No, I did not. She added, “And now you’re sending him a Happy Valentine’s via Debbie?” Ha ha. The day after my birthday, I went on a trip with a friend and left him at home to take care of my elderly mother. He drove me to the airport and brought my mother along just because she doesn’t like to be home without us, even though she’d forget about the outing as soon as it’s over. It is okay that he did not get me anything for Valentine’s Day. If I want flowers, I’ll buy them myself. It used to be that we might tell each other what we wish to have for birthdays or holidays. But we’re at the stage in our lives when we don’t really have to wait until our birthdays to get anything our hearts desire. Whatever we want or need, we are able to get them. We do not want or need a lot. We downsized. More unwanted gifts could mean more clutter. We now prefer to take each other out for a dinner, a show, a trip, or an experience. With my mother needing care, it is harder for us to travel together. He offered to let me travel with my friends and siblings while he takes care of my mom. I let him do the same. We travel without each other sometimes and with each other when we can secure help for my mother. We try to travel together at least once a year. My husband. My Valentine. Yes, my Valentine. He does not always come with flowers or bear tangible gifts, but he is a steady force of my life. He provides me with a quiet passion for both of my emotional and physical needs. We maintain our sense of humor and have laughed together in the face of adversities. We’ve survived crises together. We lived through good times and bad times and we will continue growing old together. My Valentine and me.
