Trip to Ireland with My Sister

People asked why we chose Ireland. We did not really choose the destination. It was my sister’s Spring break and we wanted to take our first trip together somewhere. Mai is a teacher and had only a week of vacation. Gate1 makes it easy to input the month we want to travel and the length of the trip. From there, it is easy to narrow down the start and end dates. Thus Ireland.

Recently coming back from a five-day trip to Hawaii to surprise my daughter at her 40th birthday, I did not feel ready for another trip. But the thought of spending time with my sister pumped me up.

Day 1

We flew into Dublin from different cities on red-eye flights. As I looked out the darkness and saw the only light source on the aircraft wings, I thought of the Twilight Zone’s Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.

Mai got to Dublin first. She was happy that the hotel gave her a room early so she could take a nap. I arrived late morning, five hours after Mai did. She came out to the lobby to greet me and took me to our room after I met with our tour guide Colm. The two of us took a nap before venturing out for lunch. We stayed at Leonardo Hotel, across from Christ Church. We chose the nearest restaurant, The Bull & Castle. There was no table for us in the main dining room, but we were welcomed to go to the bar upstairs. We shared three small plates and each of us ordered a beer. Then we walked around exploring restaurants and shops. I got a little Irish shirt for Max at Carrolls Irish Gifts. We were not far away from River Liffey.

In the evening, we had a group meeting and a welcoming drink in the hotel. After the meeting, we went out for dinner. We did not really remember where all the restaurants we noted earlier were. We took a different route and found a Vietnamese restaurant called Pho Ta. We had dinner there. I had bún cá.

                    

Day 2

We left Dublin the next day on a big bus. I took a picture of a Viking ship as we passed the Dublina Viking Museum.

We traveled south to County Wicklow. Our first attraction is Glendalough (Gleann Da Loch – valley of the two lakes), one of the most important monastic sites in Ireland, founded by St. Kevin in the 6^th century, in Glendalough National Park. We saw remains of an early Irish Christian monastic settlement: the Gateway, the Cathedral, the Round Tower, the Priests’ House, St. Kevin’s Church, St. Kevin’s Cross, and a cemetery. We were told that whoever could put his/her arms around the cross would be married within a year. Mai tried but the cross is too big for her. I guess she’ll remain single for at least another year.

Mai and I broke away from the group. We walked along the Glendasan River and took the Wicklow Way trail to Lower Lake. It is beautiful and the weather was perfect.

The group then headed to Kilkenny (Kil means church), a small city on the banks of River Nore. We passed by the village of Hollywood where there is a Hollywood Café which opened in 2018. It is said that Matthew Guirke, a local emigrant from here to the U.S.A., who gave the name Hollywood to the Los Angeles suburb.

Mai and I did not sign up for the optional Smithwick tour to learn how Ireland’s most popular ale is made. That was good because the two of us wanted to watch the St. Patrick’s parade through the main street in front of the 12^th-century Kilkenny Castle, which was founded soon after the Norman conquest of Ireland. The parade was exciting. People showed their national pride through green colored clothing and accessories.

After watching the parade, Mai and I walked the ground of the castle and went to the cafeteria across the road and shared a bowl of seafood chowder and a root vegetable dish. We realized later that we could find seafood chowder about everywhere. 

We walked to the bus which could not park very close because of the parade. We rode the bus to Cork City where we stayed a night, also at a Leonardo Hotel. This hotel looks out to the River Lee, very close to where the North Channel of the river meets with the South Channel. 

We walked with Colm into town so he could show us places to eat. We chose Quinlan's Seafood Bar and it was a fantastic choice. We shared an appetizer of mussels and a main dish of bass and scallops and a dessert of crème brulée. Quinlan's Seafood Bar was featured in several newspaper articles.

Day 3

The group checked out of Leonardo Hotel after breakfast the next day and were en route to the seaport town of Cobh (pronounced Cove, previously known as Queenstown) in County Cork. We passed by Belvelly Castle, now a private residence, and I snapped a picture of it from the bus.

The port of Cobh was the last stop for the infamous Titanic in the year 1912. There is a statue of Annie Moore and her brothers at the harbor. She is famous because she was the first immigrant to be processed at Ellis Island.

We visited the Cobh Heritage Center which showcases the Queenstown Story. Each visitor was issued a name of a person who had boarded a ship that is featured in the museum. Both Mai and I were assigned to the Lusitania, which is a large, fast, and luxurious ship catering to the wealthy leisure passengers, as well as for emigrants and business travelers. 

Mai was Grace Chafee Carroll who was a musician, artist, photographer, and writer. She returned to America from Queenstown on the Lusitania in 1913. 

I was Jack Roper, a 27-year-old deck crewman, who rescued the captain of the Lusitania when the same ship was torpedoed in 1915. He survived and was awarded the medal of bravery from the Royal National Lifeboat Institution. 

Among the many exhibited items, there are also poems and songs written about the Titanic and Lusitania displayed on the wall.

Leaving Cobh, we went west towards Killarney. We visited the 15^th-century Blarney Castle in Blarney, Cork County. It is a historical fortress that was built in 1446 by the MacCarthy clan. 

The Blarney Stone is at the top of the castle and its most celebrated aspect. The stone supposedly bestows the gift of eloquence on those who kiss it. There are many myths and legends of the origin of the stone.

After eating lunch of seafood chowder and sharing a lemon meringue at the Mill Bar, Mai and I got in line to walk up the stairs to see and kiss the Blarney stone. As we were waiting, Brenda and Helen from our group saw us and showed us pictures of them kissing the stone. They had done it already. I was a little nervous that we would not have enough time to go up and kiss the stone before the bus leaves, but I took the chance by staying put. Mai was nervous because she is afraid of height, but she stuck by my side. It took us one hour to slowly walk up the 127 steps of the spiral stone staircase which gets narrower as we climbed. Mai did not kiss the stone because she was terrified of the sheer drop which I did not even notice. I kissed the stone without thinking about the hundreds of thousands of kisses that had landed on this stone before. I did not purchase the picture taken of me right after kissing the stone because my hair was being blown all over my face and hiding it. I have not tried to see how much eloquence I’ve acquired yet.

Mai and I did not have much time to explore different floors of the castle or the surrounding gardens. But we had some time to shop around at the Blarney Woollen Mills, advertised as “The Largest Irish Shop in the World” before boarding the bus.

The bus took us to Dromhall Hotel in Killarney, County Kerry. Mai and I had wanted to sign up for the Whiskey Tasting & Dinner but the tour was full. I teased Colm by coming down to tell him that I’m determined to go even though I’m not on the list. He laughed and said he was about to have a heart attack.

Mai and I ate at the restaurant Kaynes Bar & Brasserie in the hotel. I had grilled fillets of seabass. Mai had a beef stew with mashed potatoes. Mai had a beer and I had a cocktail. The restaurant has a very good crème brulée which we shared.

Day 4

We got on the bus the next morning to go on a drive on the Ring of Kerry. We were already on the bus when the driver said something was wrong with the hydraulic system. We were unlucky that we would not have the bus until the next morning, thus we missed the 6-hour Ring of Kerry outing. As a compensation, we were offered the optional Jaunting Car free of charge. This is a horse-and-carriage ride through part of the Killarney National Park, the first national park in Ireland with over 25,000 acres of woodland. Owen was our driver. We were on the carriage with Debbie and her two college-age granddaughters, Helen, and Brenda. We saw only a tiny fraction of the beautiful landscape with deer, castle, mountain, and lake.

The bus issue was not yet resolved when we got back from the jaunting cars. Colm offered to walk us downtown so he could point out places to go. Mai and I broke away from Colm at some point and got together with Helen and Brenda. Brenda really wanted to see the Ring of Kerry. The four of us hired a small van to take us there. We ate a quick sandwich for lunch while waiting for the van. Danny, the tour driver, talked us into changing our plan to go to Dingle Peninsula instead. I think he just wanted to drive less. At the end, we kind of wish we had stuck with the Ring of Kerry, although we did see beautiful scenery on the peninsula and take some nice pictures.

Danny stopped at the town of Dingle so we could have dinner before getting back to our hotel. Mai and I had seafood chowder. 

On the way back to our hotel, we passed a statue of Jack Duggan, aka The Wild Colonial Boy, in the town of Castlemaine with an engraved ballad on a plaque telling of his tale. He is a legendary bushranger cheered on by fellow convicts and by those who had nothing he could steal.

I got a good picture of St. Mary’s Cathedral when we got back to Killarney. 

I have a soft heart for murals.

Mai and I went back to Kaynes Bar & Brasserie for their good crème brulée and a taste of Irish whiskey.

Day 5

We checked out of the hotel the next day and boarded a brand new bus to go onto our next adventures. Colm said he’d take us to the highest point of Ring of Kerry because we didn’t get to see it yesterday. In return, we would not have as much time for lunch. Which was fine for all forty two people in the group. We cheered. We headed south through Ladies’ View and stopped at Molls Gap where we were treated for a beverage and a scone at Avoca boutique shop. Mai snatched a half-priced wool sweater here.

From there we continued on the Ring of Kerry and stopped for a scenic view at the highest point before heading towards Dublin where we would spend the night.

We returned to Killarney National Park and stopped at the Muckross House for a short break.

We had a quick lunch at the town of Adare. Mai and I shared a seafood chowder and a tuna sandwich. Colm pointed out the thatched roof on the Blue Door restaurant in Adare.

Afterwards, we went to the Irish National Stud & Gardens in Tully, County Kildare. It is a horse nursery and equine breeding center for the preservation and advancement of the Irish Thoroughbred breed. It was established in 1946 and is owned by the Irish Government. We had a guided tour at the beginning.

The institution offers a 6-month residential course in thoroughbred breeding management to students from all over the world. There is a display of flags of countries that have students coming here.

We had a little time to visit the Japanese Garden on our own at the end. Mai kissed a stone in a garden because she didn’t get to kiss the Blarney Stone.

We sat back and enjoyed the scenery on the drive back to historic Dublin. 

We stayed at another Leonardo Hotel this time instead of the one across from Christ Church. A small group walked with Colm so he could point out places to go. Mai and I split off from him and went to Grand Central Bar for dinner. I had a vegetarian pasta dish that was surprisingly good and a whiskey. Mai had some kind of beef stew and a beer.  

Day 6

Mai and I had signed up for the optional Dublin City Tour which took place on the last tour day. On the bus tour, Colm pointed out things to see and he let us get off the bus to take pictures of the famous Gregorian style door at 46 Fitzwilliam Square.

We passed by the Sean Heuston Bridge, previously known as King’s Bridge, which is a cast-iron bridge spanning the River Liffey.

We went to Phoenix Park where the official residence of the President is located (Aras an Uachtarain). It was originally a royal hunting park in the 17^th century.

Our first stop at the park was the Wellington Monument, designed to commemorate the Duke of Wellington. It is the tallest obelisk in Europe at over 62 meters tall.

Our second stop was at the Papal Cross which was erected in 1979 to commemorate Pope John Paul II’s visit.

Afterwards, we headed to the Guinness Storehouse for a tour. We passed by the National Museum of Ireland and The Croppies Acre Memorial Park in front of the museum. There is a bronze sculpture in the park called the Anna Livia Plurabelle, also known as the “Floozie in the Jacuzzi.” She’s a character in the novel Finnegans Wake by James Joyce. As a young woman sitting on a slope with water flowing past her, she embodies the River Liffey.

At Guinness Storehouse, we learned about the history of the place and the process of Guinness beer making. In 1759, Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000-year lease of this building to use as a brewery at St James’ Gate. Now it serves as an educational museum. The atrium of the museum is shaped like a pint glass. We started our self-guided tour on the ground floor where there is an exhibit of a copy of the infamous 9000-year lease, and ended up at the Gravity Bar at the top.  

Mai and I got to taste different varieties of Guinness in the tasting room on the 2^nd floor. We were lucky to be there at the right time to get in line when the Tasting Room was about to be opened for a tasting.

I enjoyed the 360-degree view of Dublin through the circular glass-wall windows at the Gravity Bar.

Mai took a picture of me standing at the Roe & Co window pane because I had a shot of Roe & Co whiskey at dinner the day before.

Mai and I exchanged our beer tokens for two creamy pints of Guinness. The beer was poured and allowed about three minutes to settle down before being topped off. Mai and I saw some people from our group and gathered with them. None of us finished our pint before we had to head back to the bus.

After the bus took us back to our hotel, we said goodbye to our driver. Mai and I went for lunch at Pho Kim, two blocks from the hotel. We shared a bánh cuốn and a gỏi tôm thịt.

Then we went shopping and explored more of this part of the city. I got Butlers chocolates at Butlers Café on Henry Street, some Irish themed socks for Drakeson and Milli at Eason on O'Connell Street, and a tank top at Carrolls. Mai got matching T-shirts for herself, Marty, their children and the children's significant others. The shirt has some slogan with the word Craic on it. We learned this word from Colm. We found that there are many Carrolls Irish Gift shops in the city and they sell basically the same thing. Even shops that are not named Carrolls sell the same things as Carrolls at basically the same price, even outside of Dublin. There are not enough boutique shops where the merchandise is unique. I didn’t like that too much.  

In the evening, we had a group dinner at Leonardo Hotel with a complimentary drink. I had pasta and it wasn’t nearly as good as the pasta I had at the Grand Central Bar. We said goodbye to our tour guide and the fellow travelers.

I was the first one to leave and Mai was among the last. I left for the airport at 3am. Mai’s departure was not for another twelve hours. We both got home safe and sound. It was a nice first trip with my sister, and I hope to have many more in the future. 

Post Menopause

I’d go back to menopause with its hot flashes.

I’ve broken a wrist since then. At times I feel like my body is falling apart. Ten years after menopause, I had a heavy menstrual period. Things checked out medically but I was a wreck. I thought I felt something that I assumed was a uterus prolapse. I was scared and devastated. But I turned out to be fine. Things went back to normal. Except there is a new normal.

I used to ask my massage therapist to work on a particular part of my body, but now I don’t know what part to focus on. I need to release tension and aches everywhere. I added more routines like stretching and yoga to my daily life to combat the effect of age on my ailing body. I started weight bearing exercises to build bone mass for my small frame. Now my cardiologist would love for me to go vegan, but he compromised by allowing fish and seafood in my diet, in moderate amounts.

A friend said breaking a bone is a rite of passage. Ha ha. Somehow it did make me feel better. So is menopause. So is growing old. I suppose.

Growing old is not for sissies. It sucks. It affirms. It’s a privilege. I do not want to take it for granted. I will take care of my mental and physical health. I want to raise a glass to Post Menopause. May mine be a long one filled with many happy memories and rites of passage.

My Valentine

I often associate the idea of Valentine with flowers and romance which I didn’t think apply to me at this stage of my life. I figure it invokes a bursting fire full of intensity and passion. My husband and I could be intense and passionate, but I do not think of us that way because we rarely act that way. We still care for each other a great deal, but we also annoy each other a great deal. On Valentine’s Day, I sent my husband a Valentine greeting while I was over 2,000 miles away and I never got a response. The day before Valentine’s Day, I told my travel companion to remind me to send my husband a Happy Valentine’s text message, she said “You didn’t get him anything?” No, I did not. She added, “And now you’re sending him a Happy Valentine’s via Debbie?” Ha ha. The day after my birthday, I went on a trip with a friend and left him at home to take care of my elderly mother. He drove me to the airport and brought my mother along just because she doesn’t like to be home without us, even though she’d forget about the outing as soon as it’s over. It is okay that he did not get me anything for Valentine’s Day. If I want flowers, I’ll buy them myself. It used to be that we might tell each other what we wish to have for birthdays or holidays. But we’re at the stage in our lives when we don’t really have to wait until our birthdays to get anything our hearts desire. Whatever we want or need, we are able to get them. We do not want or need a lot. We downsized. More unwanted gifts could mean more clutter. We now prefer to take each other out for a dinner, a show, a trip, or an experience. With my mother needing care, it is harder for us to travel together. He offered to let me travel with my friends and siblings while he takes care of my mom. I let him do the same. We travel without each other sometimes and with each other when we can secure help for my mother. We try to travel together at least once a year. My husband. My Valentine. Yes, my Valentine. He does not always come with flowers or bear tangible gifts, but he is a steady force of my life. He provides me with a quiet passion for both of my emotional and physical needs. We maintain our sense of humor and have laughed together in the face of adversities. We’ve survived crises together. We lived through good times and bad times and we will continue growing old together. My Valentine and me.

Heavenly Signs

I recently encountered a new word: Angel Bumps, which are signs people say they have received from their lost loved ones. Anne Bardsley published a book called Angel Bumps: Hellos from Heaven. She believes hellos from heaven are both common and real. I believe I have experienced similar occurrences. Anne Bardsley’s article about Angel Bumps inspires me to record my own stories of the heavenly signs that appeared to me as I remember them.

When I was eight years old, I had a dream of my paternal grandfather. I didn’t remember the details of the dream or if he said anything in particular to me, but when I woke up in the morning, I just knew that he had died. And that turned out to be true. We received words that he had just passed away. My grandfather must have communicated with me in some way.

My Dad was in the hospital in 2006. He was in a coma. My mother, my husband and I, all of my siblings, and two cousins were keeping watch in a small hospital room all morning. When my father’s signs seemed to be stabilized , we all left to go home for a rest except for one cousin who remained with my dad. He called us a few hours later and told us to come as soon as possible for the time to say goodbye was imminent. We drove in separate cars. My husband and I encountered some traffic delay and we were the last ones of the group to reach the hospital. As soon as I ran into the hospital room, my father’s heart rate on the monitor suddenly jumped up for a moment. I was told that the heart rate had been flat for quite a while. It jumped up when my mother entered the room and now it jumped up for the last time when I entered. He showed signs that he knew we were all there for him.

I had a very dear high school French teacher. We kept in touch over the years. She was diagnosed with cancer in May 2021. I was able to spend a few days with her and a number of her students at a beach house that month. Her conditions worsened in the following months. On September 10 of that year, I woke up during the night and saw her at the foot of my bed. The moment was fleeting. I looked at my clock. It was 2:22am Eastern time. In the morning of September 11, I got words that she died at 11:28pm the night before. She lived in California and I lived in Virginia. That would be 2:28am Eastern time. When I told her daughter the time I saw her mother, she told me that her mom stopped breathing at 11:20pm but her heart continued to beat for another 8 minutes. Early on during those 8 minutes, she had come to say goodbye to me.

I strongly felt my teacher’s presence during my camping trip in Utah in October 2021, a month after she had passed away. During the camping trip, I used a small mirror and a little flash light to guide me putting on my contact lenses in the morning while I was still in the tent. I have monovision contact lenses, one lens is for near vision, and one is for distance. I thought I had them both on, but I didn’t have the near vision lens in my eye. I couldn’t tell because I saw fine with the one for distance and I wasn’t trying to read. Not until we were already on the road in the van, and I tried to look at my phone that I realized I didn’t have the near vision lens on. We went hiking and didn’t get back to our camping site until dark. The prospect of finding the one contact lens was dim. But somehow I thought my teacher would help me find it. As soon as we got back to our site, I took a flashlight with me and went searching in the tent. I looked in the lens case, in the bag that held the lens case and solution, and in my other toiletry bags. I looked on the sleeping bag, on top of it and inside of it and didn’t find the lens. As I was about to declare defeat and turned around to get out of the tent, there I saw the lens, lying on top of the sleeping bag. I figured it must have clung to the rough texture of the contact lens bag and at the last minute, fell onto the sleeping bag. I imagined my teacher guide it to fall at the right moment.

I felt my teacher’s presence again a year later in September 2022 when my husband Tom, my sister-in-law Mary, and I went hiking in the Cascades, a 9-mile round trip to Hart Lake from Holden Village. The air was a bit chilly when we began but was warm and buggy by the time we had only a mile to get back to our cabins. Tom swatted a bug that had landed on his face with his left hand and his glasses flew out. We stopped for him to pick his glasses up. He couldn’t find them. Mary and I joined in the search. We looked everywhere. We turned up the leaves and bushes and went up and down the trail. We looked both to the right and to the left since Tom wasn’t sure what path the glasses took when falling. I was about to give up. Then I remembered that my teacher had helped me find my contact lenses. I told myself I needed to give myself some more time. I asked my teacher to direct my gaze to the right place. Right after I spoke to her, I turned to the opposite side of where I was looking, and I saw a gleam of metal in the grass! She was there for me again!

All of what happened to me could be interpreted as dreams and coincidences, but I believe otherwise. I hope I always recognize any heavenly signs coming my way and I hope you will, too.